Special Report: Things I Have to Know That You Also Now Have to Know.

Hello, and welcome to a very special installment of English Major Away. This post will not include the (hopefully) usual work of short creative nonfiction, but rather will focus on giving you, the beloved reader, a little bit of the background information about South Korea that I’ve gotten in the past five days.
First of all, allow me to introduce you to EPIK, which stands for English Program In Korea. They are a government agency that recruits and places Native English Teachers (NETs) throughout the country. Here at orientation they are represented mostly by young Korean teachers and Koreans studying to become teachers. In case you’re wondering, yes, this does make me an employee of the South Korean government and yes, they are taking very, very good care of us. Between classes designed to help prepare us for what to expect when we step into the classroom, a field trip to several places (more on that in my next post), and an introduction to Korean cafeteria food, we’ve had very little time to worry much about the fact that we’ll be real teachers next week.
Okay, with that out of the way, it’s on to the point of this whole post. Ready? Good. Here we go.

Jake’s Very Important But Poorly Organized South Korea Facts Learned Thus Far:

1. The population of South Korea is roughly 50 million. Of those 50 million, roughly 20 million live in Seoul and its satellite cities such as Incheon and Seongnam City, which is where I’m having my orientation.

2. The total land area of the peninsula, including the islands, is 223,170 square kilometers. Some 44.6 percent (98,477 square kilometers) of this total, excluding the area within the DMZ, constitutes the territory of the Republic of Korea. The combined territories of North Korea and South Korea are about the same size as the state of Minnesota. Which means that this whole country is about half the size of Minnesota, making it the world’s 3rd most densely populated nation.

3. The national dish is kimchi (KIM-chee). It usually comes in the form of cabbage fermented with chili paste, horseradish, and fish sauce, among other things (sort of like a spicy sauerkraut). It is served with everything here as a side, including at breakfast. Nothing like some spicy fermented cabbage to wake you up in the morning.

4. One of the more popular alcoholic beverages here is soju (pronounced exactly how you’d expect). It’s a liquor typically made from rice, although other starches can be used in the process. It usually hovers around 20% alcohol by volume and is popular both due its sweet taste (imagine weak vodka with a hint of vanilla and none of the bitterness) and its bargain basement price of 1000 to 3000 Korean Won for a bottle the size of a bottle of beer. It also produces a pretty splitting hangover, as I found out this morning.

5. The culture here is hugely rooted in Confucianism. It is, in fact, arguably the most Confucianism-oriented country in the world. This means that everything is based on age and respect. People will often ask you how old you are before they ask your name. I have been bowing to anyone older than me in the street.

6. Handing things to people with one hand here is considered rude. I have learned this the hard way over and over already.

7. 70% of this country is mountainous terrain. In fact, if all of the mountains in South Korea were smoothed down and the true land area were measured, it would cover about a third of the United States.

8. North Korea. It’s up there. I am within a two and a half hour drive from a destitute dictatorship, which is something to ponder for a later post. South Koreans are, on average, four inches taller than North Koreans due to malnutrition. Also, as it turns out, America set up the South Korean government and China and the Soviet Union set up North Korea’s. The separation of the two countries and subsequent gap in living conditions is largely due to foreign influence.

9. The border of North and South Korea, the Demilitarized Zone, means that South Korea is the only non-island nation that cannot be reached by automobile. There is a place called the Joint Security Area (JSA) in which North and South Korean soldiers can see one another. Tourists can visit this place and, depending upon the population of North Korean soldiers in the JSA at the time, can set foot in North Korea under strict supervision by South Korean soldiers. Also, the two nations are still technically at war, though South Koreans generally hope for reunification. And before you ask, yes, I will be going to the Joint Security Area.

10. Ajumma, which means older married woman, is the term of endearment and respect for the elderly Korean women who are in better shape than most Americans (yours truly included) and appear to generally find us foreigners to be completely adorable. My greatest wish is to find one to adopt me for the duration of my stay in South Korea.

11. It’s not that Koreans hate the Japanese necessarily, but there is a general dislike for Japan. It’s no wonder, considering they were a hostile occupying force for much of the first half of the 20th Century. I’m not quite sure how this will manifest yet, but for instance today one of the lecturers used a map in which the Sea of Japan had been renamed the East Sea.

So there you have it: some very basic facts about my new home. So now when you read about the ajumma who fed my roommate and I at a food stall or about how I’m climbing mountains all the time with a bottle of soju and a belly full of kimchi, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
Next time on English Major Away, final thoughts on the EPIK orientation, first impressions of Daejeon, and if you’re really really lucky and wish extra hard, a work of creative nonfiction. ‘Til then, annyeonghi gaseyo!