I’m almost there. At least, I think I am. After nearly two post-graduation years of false starts, unemployment, and jobs that were only mildly preferable to unemployment, I think I might almost be a grown-up. And it only took moving across the world to do it. Now, I’ve not only got a job that allows me to pay my student loans(more than a lot of Americans can say these days… ZING!), I’ve got a writing circle, a Korean class, and tickets to travel to not one but two foreign countries in the next two months. So I think, maybe, I’m close to qualifying for that elite grown-up club, even if I’m not sure I want to.
But then again maybe not. Sometimes I feel like throwing an all-out two-year-old-style temper tantrum. Case in point, yesterday. I was on my way to school, happy as a clam knowing that English Camp only runs from 2-4, and therefore I could sit at my desk keeping my chair warm and poking at the internet while considering doing something productive.
Oh wait, I almost forgot. It’s horrifically hot and humid outside. It actually looked more like this:
I arrived at school as I usually do, sweaty and completely ready to take a few minutes in front of the fan to cool off and put out the fires on my clothes and hair. Unfortunately, my co-teacher Sookhee found me before I’d even had a chance to switch the fan on. Here is what followed:
Sookhee: Nam-teacher has a business trip today and cannot teach her classes.
Still not understanding the gravity of the situation.
Sookhee: I taught her class first period, but I have my own classes second through fourth.
Beginning to come to grips with the harsh pain of reality.
Sookhee: You can teach those three classes for Nam-teacher this morning.
Stage One: Denial.
Sookhee: The first one starts in five minutes. Sorry about that!
Stage Two: Panic
Sookhee: You can be fine, I think. Just play games. They can read books, too.
Sookhee really was understanding of what terrible situation this was. At this point, though, the damage was done. Stage Two quickly devolved into Stage 3, which lasted the rest of the morning.
Stage 3: Blind Hulk Rage
May God help any Korean student who crosses the Foreign Teacher when he or she has reached Stage 3 before class has even begun. First, you have an angry teacher. Second,you have students who can’t understand large chunks of what the angry teacher says. This communication barrier only serves to compound the teacher’s anger. Take, for example, what happened to the poor misguided soul who decided to attempt a nap on top of the computer bank.
That’ll learn ‘em to mess with Mr. Disch-ee.
I can only assume that this student thought that the keyboards he was lying on would provide some sort of therapeutic back massage. After some Chinese food for lunch, everything calmed down and I regretted eating that student. And while no, what actually happened was not this bad, the temptation to make it so was there, which is why I still must question my grown-up-ness. Also, I just spent an hour and a half drawing stick figures in Microsoft Paint, which may provide another reason to call my maturity level into question.
So maybe I’m not quite a grown-up. But I am famous. No, seriously. This one actually happened a couple of months ago on a trip to the Daejeon Symphony’s Opera Night with Ah Young and one of her friends. There was some famous fat guy running around in the crowd being followed by a TV crew and then this happened:
Four years of studying acting and the closest I get to fame and fortune is standing in line for someone else’s performance looking like I haven’t pooped in a couple weeks. Thanks, Liberal Arts!
A couple weeks ago I came into the faculty office at school and everyone started laughing. When I asked why, Sookhee showed me that picture. I had been wondering why students kept saying, “Teacher! I see you Sponge!” I was terrified, thinking the kids had somehow seen me at Sponge Bar one of the two times I’d been to that hellhole. But no, this TV show is called Sponge, and I was standing in the background for four seconds. Now I’m more famous in Korea than I ever was in America. Hooray?
So all in all, after five months and one semester of teaching English through the EPIK program in South Korea, what do I have to show for myself? Well, a greatly reduced debt, plenty of new friends, a stint on TV, a second-place finish in the Daejeon English Drama Festival, marginal-at-best Korean language skills, and the type of thinking on my feet that can usually prevent Stage 3 Hulk Rage in the classroom. All in all, a pretty successful first semester. And I’ve been glad to share it with you as time allows. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will be posting again until after my trip to Thailand unless something really awesome and unforeseen happens in the next couple weeks. That means my next post is almost a month away. Sorry about that. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my doodles. ‘Til next time, dear readers!
